This past Friday it finally happened, I stepped onto my scales, and I weighed in at 214.9 pounds. A 100 pound weight loss!!!!!!!!! Three years ago when I started seeing Rachel, my nutritionist, and I took my life back into my hands on my thirtieth birthday, I didn’t really think it possible that I’d end up here. But the more I lost, the more I learned about nutrition, about my body, and about myself, losing 100 pounds became a more and more reachable goal. I shed bad habits, and I shed the shackles of trying to be someone I wasn’t that caused me to cling a suit of
armor – fat – for most of my adult life. As I lost the weight, I embraced myself for who I really was. For those who are wondering, yes, it involved coming out as a gay man, but it also involved just getting comfortable with me – on all levels. And no longer needing to hide behind a physical barrier. With that mental weight lifted, the physical weight followed. I still have a ways to go, but the idea of losing 35 – 40 more pounds is really nothing at this point.
When I look at myself in photos from when I was well over 300 pounds, I recognize the man in the pictures, but I see a lot of pain. When I look at me now, I see hope and confidence and freedom. The highest I ever weighed on a
set of scales was about 304 pounds. This was on an old set of scales that weighed me about 3-4 pounds lighter than my current scales, therefore the highest I weighed (when I began this journey on my thirtieth birthday) was about 307-308 pounds. BUT – that weigh in was after a good month of trying hard to lose weight prior to even stepping on the scales, so I’m sure I had lost at least 7 or eight pounds when I weighed in then, which is how I estimate my highest weight to have been 315. In all honesty, I think it’s likely it may have been higher than that. When I look at pictures
of myself from when I lived in Houston after law school, I’m almost certain 315 may be a conservative number for my highest weight. I was not weighing at all for a period of years, and I think the likelihood I was much higher than that is great, but 315 is the number I’m comfortable marking – and saying confidently I’ve now lost 100 pounds.
So – being confident that I finally reached 100 pounds lost, some of the people in my life made me feel really special. Rachel, a couple of co-workers, lots of Facebook friends and church friends, and on Saturday, my parents, when I went to visit them. And it was during that visit that I ended up marking my 100 pound loss in a most unexpected, but incredibly meaningful way, having to do with a tangible connection to my grandparents. Read more…
Well yesterday was weekly weigh-in day, and I posted a loss, albeit a small one, from last week. I weighed in at 217.4 pounds yesterday. That’s down .4 pounds from last week, and still leaves me 2.4 elusive pounds shy of the century mark and losing 100 pounds! I can taste that victory, and yes, it’s a measly couple of pounds, but the psychological significance of having lost 100 pounds is really huge. I remember when I first started this journey a few years ago, I’d watch the people on the Today show, or read the success stories in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution who had lost 100 pounds, and for the first time, I thought, “They’re no different than me. I can do this, too!”
And I almost have achieved that goal! A. L. M. O. S. T….. I was kind of disappointed this week because I did really well with exercise again for the first time in a long time, and I was good with my food. My nutritionist reminded me yesterday when I told her rather disappointedly about my small loss that when you first begin exercise (which for all intents and purposes, this week was a restart), your muscles retain water, and the loss may not come immediately. So busting through this plateau will take a little bit yet.
What’s keeping me going until I hit this huge milestone along my road to a final goal weight are the changes I’ve undergone. Health, energy, and petty as it may seem, appearance. I actually really like the way I look now! I got a haircut this morning and snapped a photo with my phone today to see it from the side (see above). A few years (or even a few months) ago, a side shot of my face/head would’ve been something that made me cringe and reflexively delete the photo. But when I saw this one, I had to stop for a minute. It didn’t even look like me! I didn’t have a ridiculous double (or triple chin), there was no fat roll on the back of my head, and damn if I didn’t even see some of the muscles/tendons in my neck! I actually thought I looked…well…kinda cute! So that satisfaction – knowing I’ve changed my life for the better – that’s what’s going to propel me through until I’ve lost 100 pounds (hopefully very soon!), and then past that, to get below 200 pounds, and ultimately to reach a good final goal weight and maintain it with a healthy lifestyle that never stops.
Wow – it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a blog post! I kind of noticed the same pattern when I lost my first big chunk of weight back in 2010. Once I got my weight down a good bit, the time I had devoted to blogging became devoted more and more to living life to the fullest! And that’s happened this time around, too, to some extent. My goal since July has really been to blog about once a week, as opposed to a few times a week, so blogging hasn’t really made that big of a dent in my time. Meaning, I really have no excuse to have been MIA for the past month.
Rest assured, I’ve been keeping up with my healthy diet! Exercise has been trickier in the winter, though I’m starting to break through with that, too. Details on all that and more, but first… a quick primer to bring you up to date on my last few weeks’ weigh-ins. When I weighed in on December 31, 2012 – the last time I posted to the blog, I was at 221.8, and I was thrilled! But my loss has continued, even if the pace has slowed a bit. Here are my weights from my weekly Friday weigh-ins this year, with the loss from the week before, and my total loss from 315, my estimated highest weight:
1/4/13: 220.5 / -3.9wk / -94.5tot
1/11/13: 217.4 / -3.1wk / -97.6tot
1/18/13: 218.5 / +1.1wk / -96.6tot
1/25/13: 217.8 / -0.7wk / -97.3tot
So you can see I had a significant loss at the beginning of the month, and that’s been followed by what I would describe as a plateau. My weight since mid-month has really hovered within the 217.5-218.5 range. That’s not bad at all, if I were looking to maintain that weight, but I still have more losing to do!!! So what explains that plateau? A couple of different things, I think.
First, I made a couple of changes to my diet. I got a great deal on KIND bars, and I began to eat them as an afternoon snack in place of my typical apple and cheese. I also heard about a new breakfast biscuit called Belvita. It’s delicious, and I guess it’s a good option if you’re on the go and just need to grab something to tide you over. But at 230 calories a packet, it’s pretty high calorie compared to my normal single packet of plain oatmeal and an apple. I was combining it with an apple or banana, and a Danactive yogurt… Lots more calories. So I cut the fruit, and it was more in line with my calorie expectations for myself (and probably a little lower in sugar, too).
But I think something else happened – without those fruits in my diet – I was losing a good bit of fiber. I ended up – get ready – constipated. I’m nothing if not honest. And quite frankly I’ve been struggling with it for the past couple of weeks. I haven’t been irregular since childhood, so this was a shock to my system. The lack of exercise probably contributed, as well. So I took matters into my own hands this week. I’ve hit exercise hard. I started by climbing Atlanta’s Stone Mountain for the past two weekends in a row (the view at the top, on the left, is spectacular)! It feels awesome to be able to do this spur of the moment. A few years ago, I couldn’t have. I would’ve ended up having to be rescued as I clung to a rogue mountaintop pine tree, whimpering softly (okay maybe not that bad – but it would’ve been hell). This week, I’ve also doubled down on my efforts at also getting in two weekday jogs at Piedmont Park! One was after work yesterday (as it’s now staying light just long enough to do that without almost certainly being mugged), and another was today. There was horrific weather here today (tornadoes in other parts of northern Georgia), but once that threat passed, I decided that since I had taken the day off work today anyway and didn’t need to look cute for anything, I’d go for a run in the rain. I felt bad-ass! That’s how I’m gonna bust this plateau, baby!!! I actually felt great, but I guess my face tells on me being a little cold and wet (see below right). Between that and modifying my diet to make sure I’m adding back in lots of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables, you’ll be happy to know, the irregularity seems to be gone. I know I’m happy. :-) And I’m hopeful that this week’s weigh-in may bring me back in line for a serious losing trend that will get me to 215 and 100 pounds lost soon!!!
One other important development this month is that I had my annual physical. My blood pressure has been normal since I started losing weight a couple of years ago, but last year, my cholesterol was borderline high (at 202), and my triglycerides were definitely high. This year, my triglycerides were perfectly normal, and my cholesterol was a really healthy 158! With HDL and LDL levels also being really good!!! That was exciting to know. And my insulin resistance that I was struggling with when I was over 300 is now completely resolved. To the point we don’t even need to test my A1c levels again, according to my doctor!!!
So that’s a quick catch up from the past month. I’m going to get back on board with weekly posts – I promise! And this weekend, be on the lookout for a delish recipe for roasted butternut squash that I came up with this past week! It’s a wonderful, easy source of fiber, and tastes like an absolute treat!
Today was the greatest day yet of this weight loss journey. To begin, I weighed this morning, as I do everyday, and I was at my lowest weight yet of my adult life: 221.8 pounds. A 93+ pound loss from my highest weight of about 315!!! It’s not an “official” Friday weigh-in for me, but I’ll take it. So I decided that as I finish up my holiday vacation from work, I’d use part of the day to do something I’ve known for a while now that I should do – clean out my closet and dresser.
I knew I needed to do this for a couple of reasons. First, I needed to get the clothes that I wore t my higher weights out of my house. As long as they’re available to me, there is a safety net of sorts in my mind. The idea that if I were to balloon back up to a higher weight, at least it wouldn’t require great expense, as I’d have a built-in wardrobe to fall back on. This…is incredibly flawed thinking. Getting rid of that safety net of “fat clothes” is an acknowledgement and proclamation to yourself that you HAVE changed your life, and that change is here to stay. NO TURNING BACK!
The other reason I needed to do this is that I had a ton of perfectly good, and actually really nice, clothes that were going unused. There are plenty of people out there who are on hard times for one reason or another that could be putting these clothes to use as opposed to having them hang in my closet as an unhealthy mental block to my total reconstruction. As I began trying everything on and sorting everything in piles of what to donate and what to keep, I was overtaken with a completely irrational fear. What if I were to lose my job/get sick/otherwise fall on hard times and end up homeless? I might need these clothes, if for no other reason than to use as blankets to keep myself alive when I would undoubtedly be living in a cardboard box under the interstate with all my belongings in a hijacked shopping cart!
Again…flawed thinking. I mean, Read more…
So I have a couple of weeks of catching up to do with regards to reporting my weigh-ins. In order to do it, I’ve returned to the bestest coffee shop in all the land, which I’ve often blogged from and about before. Ground zero for my studying for the bar exam (and hence making a major career change), coming out of the closet, and various other life events. I couldn’t take a week’s vacation and note spend some time here! The news is good overall, and I’m proud of getting through the holidays without a complete debacle or meltdown of efforts. In fact, the way I’ve been handling this year’s holidays makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally made the switch in my head from being on a diet/eating plan/program to living a healthier lifestyle.
All that said, the weeks surrounding Christmas have not been a time for continued weight loss, and perhaps that’s not what I should have expected this time of year. On the Friday before Christmas, I weighed in at Read more…
Among the hustle and bustle of the holidays, this week has gotten away from me! I weigh in again tomorrow, and I still haven’t posted my weigh in from last week. So here it is, last week I weighed in at 222.7!!! That’s 1.1 pounds down from the week before, and that’s even including my weekend in NYC!
I’ll write a longer post about my weigh in tomorrow before we get to Christmas – there’s a lot to share, including shopping for new clothes and resisting holiday treats… Enjoy this season!
This past weekend, I took the trip I’ve been talking about and anticipating for months – a trip to New York to see Cyndi Lauper and friends in a holiday concert to benefit homeless lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered youth. It. Was. Amazing. And I’ll tell you all about it, but first of all, the trip started as I left home for work on Friday morning, and weighing in that morning was a great way to kick off a weekend of traveling! I weighed in at 223.8, a FIVE POUND loss from the prior week!!! That’s a 34.8 pound weight loss since July, and about 91 pounds down from my highest weight a few years back!!! This is the lightest I’ve ever been as an adult. It’s really pretty amazing. I’m beginning to really like my body, and see myself as sexy and attractive! That’s huge progress for me, as viewing yourself as a normal size person takes a lot of mental work! It’s been a shift that’s happened over time, along with confidence being built up in other areas of my life, as well. Which leads me back to New York… Read more…