Home > Nutrition > Help Me Eradicate Driving While Dining – DWD

Help Me Eradicate Driving While Dining – DWD

May 13, 2010

Today I saw two people doing something that really chaps my hide.  Eating.  In their cars.  While driving!  I won’t say that I’ve never been guilty of this, but it irritates me now for a few different reasons.  First, I’ve always been really turned off by sloppy eaters.  You know, the ones who slurp their soup, crunch their chips too loudly, smack when eating something sticky, have stuff running down their chins, etc.  It drives me nuts, too put it mildly.  I’m hardly a prude, but I do think when you eat, unless you are one of the .0000003% of us who really was raised by wolves, you should kind of try to be as normal/least gross as possible.

Thus the problem with the car eaters.  They feel safe in their cars (just like all the nose-pickers on wheels out there), so they stop by a drive-through window, order some high fat, sloppy food, and then go at it like a hungry cheetah taking down it’s prey, thinking none of us can see the pure, animalistic passion with which they consume their cheesesteak, taco, french fries, or whatever else.  The clear windows that everyone else can see through providing a buffer between them and the outside world.  Like the guy I got behind today on my way home from work.  I couldn’t tell what he was eating, but it was messy, and he had a beard.  Ick.  Just…  Ick.   He’d tilt his big head back and drape whatever this was into his mouth, invariably catching the remnants in his beard.  And since traffic was stopped, I got to see it.  Every revolting bite.  Even though it turns my stomach, it was kind of like a train wreck; I couldn’t help but look. So that may be my own little hang up, but it’s one of the things that bothers me most about this practice of Driving While Dining – DWD.

Moreover, it’s dangerous!!!  Texting isn’t the only thing hazardous to our collective commuting safety – DWD is a hazard, too!  Try driving next to a driver eating her yogurt with a spoon in the morning.  With. A. Spoon!!!!!!!  I couldn’t believe it when I saw it.  I gave the obligatory shocked look, trying to gape my mouth and bug my eyes out as best I could, to convey my – “Damn!!! – Please don’t run me over so you can enjoy a gourmet breakfast with the good silver!”   But she was hunkered down shoveling that Activia in like she was on a mission to eradicate her Irritable Bowel Syndrome between red lights.  Sheesh.  Where’s a good Oprah public safety campaign when you need it?

Finally, as if etiquette and road safety weren’t enough, there’s the unhealthiness of the food choices most DWD’ers make.  More often than not, DWD’ers aren’t eating yogurt like Ms. IBS-Be-Damned-Where’s-The-Linen-Napkin-In-My-Honda.  No sir/ma’am!  They’re eating fast food.  Or a bag of cheezie poofs from the gas station.  Or little baggies of high sugar kids cereal that they find dropped between the seats.  So in addition to grossing some of us out and possibly causing accidents and mass mayhem on the roads, they’re filling their own guts with some nasty stuff that’s not very nutritious nine times out of ten (according to my own survey of the last ten people I’ve seen eating while driving – or maybe it was eleven…).  Plus I’m not sure that the bearded guy I saw today wasn’t on his way home to have dinner with his family, but had just picked up a 1,000 calorie appetizer to hold him over for the drive.

I just think Driving While Dining is a bad practice on lots of different levels.  So please join me in the fight to eradicate DWD.  Let’s go all Oprah on this thing, and sign my pledge by commenting on this blog post.  Just wait till you get wherever you’re going and enjoy a nice, sit down meal – napkins, silver, and all.  You’ll likely make healthier choices, and you won’t risk a fender bender in the process.  (If I ever do make it on the Today Show, I’m going to ask them if I can record one of those NBC, “The More You Know” Public Service Announcements about this – but for now, just imagine that little “The More You Know” jingle and the little NBC peacock swooshing past my ugly mug with stardust behind it.)

  1. May 14, 2010 at 10:56 AM

    Lol, Chad! Love the rant! But…I’m guilty of that. I eat in the car every morning. I eat my home-made breakfast sandwich (yum!). But I don’t devour it. I snack on it. I enjoy it. Does that help?

    But yeah, you should totally do a “The More You Know” PSA…even if for a vlog post!

  2. Erin
    May 14, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    I’m a very messy eater. Darnit Chad, you know how to hurt a girls feelings. JUST KIDDING!! I’m not a messy eater at all, actually. I was raised with manners and class. I go bonkers when someone smacks their upper jaw and lower jaw together and calls it chewing.

    I saw a guy shaving while driving this morning on my commute. He almost caused an accident, with a SEMI on the left, and a flatbed trailer on the right. I was behind him about 100 feet, and thank God I wasn’t chowing down on a McMuffin or something… 😛

  3. May 15, 2010 at 12:43 AM

    Awwww while I don’t eat fast food any longer I do always eat in my car. Usually a banana or a larabar on my way to the gym (at 5:crackthirty am).

    Guilty as charged.

    • May 15, 2010 at 1:55 AM

      LOL, Tara.

      After my rant, triggered by the gross bearded driver yesterday, I actually found myself snacking on some almonds and a smoothie in the car this afternoon after a long day of travel. Got halfway through, remembered my post, and felt guilty!!! :-/

  4. fitfan
    May 25, 2010 at 3:25 PM

    When I was young and foolish, I used to hold a soft drink in my left hand, which also had two fingers on the wheel, the fries in-between my legs, and the burger in my right hand with two fingers free for shifting. Looking back, I’m amazed I wasn’t in a collision.

    I support your campaign, as long as we have an exemption for granola bars!

  5. August 18, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    I used to drop stuff all over myself when I ate – because I did it either sitting on the couch or in my car.

    No longer! I sit AT A TABLE and I consume my food slowly, making it last and not getting it on my “boob shelf”.

    I stand behind you in your fight to eradicate DWD!

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