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Reclaiming Swagger

September 17, 2012

In my mind, it made me look like the Old Spice hottie…

Yesterday I realized on my way to the mall that I hadn’t put on deodorant. Not a good feeling – whatsoever. So I stopped by the Rite-Aid near my apartment and ran in to get a travel size deodorant instead of turning around to go back home. I was a little amused when the only travel size men’s deodorant they had was a little miniature Old Spice called “Swagger.”

I went ahead and bought it, put some on in the car, and went about my merry way. This trip to the mall had been coming all day. Why? You might ask. Because I woke up with a craving. I have no idea where it came from, and no, I’m not pregnant, but I woke up yesterday morning craving a jalapeno pretzel from Auntie Anne’s. I literally planned my day around it. My normal afternoon snack is an apple and 2 sticks of 2% cheddar cheese, less than 200 calories. The pretzel wasn’t a well-balanced healthy carb/protein snack, but I was going to have it, dammit, even though it was 330 calories.

I made a deal with myself, though. I didn’t want to go to the park for my jogs this weekend because of yet another arts festival there, so I decided if I allowed myself to have the pretzel, I would walk around the mall for no less than two hours (not senior citizen mall walking, mind you, but still walking with some purpose, allowing myself to browse a bit, without sitting down or totally stopping for two hours straight). I figured that would at least burn the excess calories, if not a bit more. So you can see why the deodorant stop was essential.

Walking around the mall, I made an observation about my journey and my

confidence. I feel good about myself and my body. I have confidence. My upper body feels and looks strong and lean (compared to the belly and thighs I’m still trying to lose), and I could feel a little bit of a chest-puffed-strut kicking in as I walked through the mall (my best friend would call this my “peacock” strut – apparently it kicks in subconsciously when I flirt – and even when I’m not flirting now that I’m feeling good about myself once again!) In short, I. Had. Swagger.

I was a little concerned going into this weekend, actually. I weigh in on Friday mornings. When I weighed this past Friday, I knew I had eaten a couple of not the best meals on Wednesday and Thursday, though calorie wise I should have been okay. I ate Sizzling Rice Soup and Eggrolls for dinner on Wednesday, and I went running Wednesday instead of Thursday (the night before my weigh in), because I had a reception I needed to attend for a bar association I’m involved with. On Thursday, I botched my lunch (how in hell does one burn popcorn while standing in front of the microwave?), so I ate chicken nuggets from the office cafeteria. While my calories were good, I think that sodium, combined with no run the night before, led to a weight GAIN on Friday morning of .4 pounds. I was at 241.4. Blech.

And then it happened. I peed. All day. Friday I wore a veritable path between my desk and the men’s room. I was giddy each time I was hit with the urge, knowing that I was getting rid of all the evil Chinese food fluid retention that had ruined my Friday morning. And Saturday morning, I weighed in at 239.6, which is a 1.4 pound loss from the prior Friday! Woohoo! And I also began craving that damn pretzel.

Flash back to the mall, and two more things happened. First, I kept smelling a fragrance in the different department stores that I thought was really sexy. I thought, dang – that would drive me crazy on a guy. Second, I began looking for some new china. I had some very inexpensive, though durable, china I had gotten in college, and I had been wanting something a little more grown up for awhile. Two hours walking around to burn off a pretzel gives you plenty of time to comparison shop. I hit Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s, and Pottery Barn, and I decided I had lots to go home and sleep on. I wanted plain white dishes – to showcase the food and make me want to cook at home more. And I realized there are lots of options when it comes to that. Gray-ish white, or creme-ish white? Round or sqaure? Texture or not? Decisions.

So today, I went back, and I found a set of beautiful china (round, warm creme-ish white, no texture) I

Inspired by the grown-up china to make my sandwich more sophisticated (shut up about the fork on the right, already)

hadn’t even noticed at Macy’s yesterday, and the sale was fantastic. Tonight it inspired me to throw together a quick supper that looked and tasted wonderful – a grilled chicken sourdough panini with strawberry rhubarb jam and caramelized onions and mushroom, along with a side of roasted broccoli. And yes, I know in the picture my fork is on the wrong side. I was eating by myself, only needed the one utensil, and I’m right-handed….leave me ‘lone. So yeah – overall, score for grown-up dishes inspiring me to cook healthily more often.

Oh – and remember that fragrance I mentioned I thought smelled so sexy at the mall yesterday? It was me! The Old Spice Swagger I had forgotten about! My own swagger turned me on!!! LOL. Have a good week.

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  1. Jef Blocker
    September 17, 2012 at 7:28 AM

    What a great story–with added swagger. Plus, if we cannot truly love someone until we love ourselves, wouldn’t it also be true that we must be turned on by ourselves before we can truly be turned on by someone else?

    • September 17, 2012 at 9:54 AM

      Thanks, Jef! And very true…

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